Two patients made me think about life last night - unfair, frustrating, sad.
Unfair - she's 60, but looks about 80 with breast cancer metastasized to her lungs, liver and brain. Each time I went into the room she was fixated on telling me something. She'd been trying to tell this story for the 2 days she's been in the hospital. She could say clearly - "this isn't going to make any sense." Then she would struggle to tell me something but only could say partial thoughts. my dog, get her urine, do it by herself, freezing. I eventually thought she was trying to tell me her dog was at home and needed to go the bathroom, but she would only shake her head no. She was so frustrated, clearly had something to say but couldn't get her thoughts out of her cancerous brain.
Frustrating - she's 34 but looks in her 40s. In for a seizure, but only wants more and more pain meds. The doctors have said she has a history of drug seeking behaviors. Missing teeth, scars to her arms, so forgetful. I can't imagine what her life must be at home. She asked me multiple times if she was going home tomorrow. She also continually asked for more pain medication, the doctors had cut her off the IV drugs and gave her only pills. While I could only say, "you can have more Percocet in an hour", I really wanted to say, "come with me", and bring her to the dying cancer patient and say "life is unfair". And a quote from the movie Shawshank Redemption, 'either get busy living or get busy dying', because unlike this poor lady you have a choice."
Life can be so unfair.
3 comments:
Ah, doesn't that stuff just break your heart. The first story, I mean. that is one of the things I hate about my job, but yet love at the same time. I am always wanting to take my "cracked out" patients into other rooms to meet the people less fortunate, but good ol' HIPPA stops me dead in my tracks.
Thanks for a new post. I was getting ready to harass you. See you soon. ***rita**
Hi,
Your first story brings thoughts of how it is to communicate with Pat's Mom. Last Sunday we about went out of our minds (no pun intended) trying to figure out that she wanted the wrought iron cart on the deck for her plants. This exercise took over an hour and while she is normally good natured about it, she's getting more impatient with age - can't say I blame her.
I always say..."when you think you are having a bad day, think again..."
Thanks for sharing those stories, it is a helpful reminder for all of us to count our blessings.
Hugs,
Joy
Wow. What powerful lessons of what's important in life and how truly unfair it can be at times. I'm still trying to absorb everything you wrote...
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